Long Distance Relationships

I’m married and I live apart from my husband. We used to lived together but we had some family issues since we were living with my mom and he had to move out. This has really put a strain on our relationship because not only can we not see each other all the time we can’t communicate either. I believe communication is to key to any relationship whether it’s a work, family, or social situation. If you you don’t have communication you don’t have anything. I love my husband to death but he drives  me crazy sometimes he’s very insecure so when I don’t pick up a call he’s always on my ass even though I sometimes don’t pick up because my phone is dead or  I’m too busy doing something else. He automatically jumps to conclusions. When some random guy on facebook or instagram tries to holla at me he gets very pissed off at me and I tell him that I have no control over that, and I always tell them off and block them. Yet he still gets annoyed at me. He doesn’t like me really going out much because he thinks I will meet someone so he has serious trust issues which have definitely worsened with the distance thing.

On the other hand I’m just upset because I have no one to kiss and hug in the middle of the night. I even miss our arguments In person where we’d fight and the kiss and have sex later. Talking about sex I miss all the crazy sex we used to have I remember one time I was upset at him for something stupid and he kissed me slowly and undressed me and we made love. I swear make up sex is the best. Another thing I miss is having someone to take care of, someone to watch out for and that can watch out for me. I feel like everyone is either pregnant, in a relationship or dating/ living together yet I’m married and I feel single. I only get to see him once or twice a week. We are saving to move out but with the cost of living all of a sudden going up everyday it’s getting harder and harder each day.  What’s the hardest part about you living away from your partner? Comment below.

Appearances may be deceiving

illusion

Illusions are a perfect examples of a deceiving appearance, they trick the eye to think it’s one thing when its really something else and like illusions there’s people who trick the mind to make you believe there something there not there called illusionist.  I had a friend like this he was an illusionist. He made everyone around him think he was something he was not. He did it for the world’s approval. To be a good illusionist you must be an excellent liar. That was my friend the “illusionist”  best quality. He lied about everything, his personality, his feeling, and who he really was. He changed himself to impress the world. What he did not really know was that I knew the real him. I believed in him, I knew he had a beautiful soul. His true self was dying to get out but only he had the key to free himself. He felt that everyone else’s  opinion mattered more than his own happiness. He did not see what I saw. In my eyes he was perfect only if he knew that. I’ve always believed that you should not change yourself to fit into anyone’s mold. Remember you can pretend all you want to be someone else but there always one person you can’t lie to and that’s yourself.

In bad times you count on me because in the good there will be friends to spare

Sounds like what every parent tells there child. When I was younger I thought my parents we’re just trying to get me to stay away from those friends who they thought we’re taking me down a bad path. However as I grew up I began to notice that every single part of this was right. You see I have this “friend” that I considerer my partner in crime. My very close friend. When we were younger we would hangout every single day. We would have each other’s back all the time. Until we grew up, and I became a mother. I knew things would be different after me having Ethel because our priorities were now different and we did not have as much things in common anymore. Yet My loyalty and friendship towards her always remained the same. I figured maybe we would not hangout as much as we did before, but everything changed so drastically. As time passed by I noticed that If I did not call her she would not bother to look for me. If I called her sometimes she would not pick up or at least return my calls or texts. If she ever picked up or responded she would always be too busy for me. I mean I thought I  was the one with the child, and regardless of that I managed to make time to at least text her.

Another thing that bothered me was that If she ever called there was always something she need attached to the call. She became uninterested in me and my life. Yes I understood the fact that our values and interest had now changed but all I asked of her was some king of emotional support. I stood there being drained of my friendship, hoping she would one day change.

Today we still speak, but of coarse not as much as I’d like to. I remember who she was, I miss the old her, wish she could come back. Have you ever felt like this about a person?

Normality is a fine idea for those who have no imagination

A poem written on  July.21.2009

*Modified on 11.2.2015

To me everyone’s “normality” is different. Same is boring, the sky is the limit. Imagination is a different world filled with magical places and infinite spaces. Tropical desserts in the middle of the rain forest. Snow storms in Aruba. Yellow skies and Black seas. Candy raindrops, and bubblegum trees. Chocolate cars and strawberry flavored flowers. Puppies can fly. Frogs turn into princes. pink is gold, and green are the stars beneath my feet. Schools is fun, everyone’s rich. Education and healthcare are free. There’s no troubles no stress, everyone’s happy nothings a mess. Oh a no more test.

 

Side note: Remember it’s okay to be weird, different, “not normal”…BE YOUR UNIQUE SELF!

True Love

Once upon a time there was a girl named Caia, she was a sweet and clever girl who was looking for  her true love, because in her past there was nothing but heartbreak. Caia dreamed of the day when her prince charming would magically show up and sweep her off her feet. As the saying goes when your looking for something you never seem to find it. Until one day she stumbled upon this very handsome guy on her friends Lily’s instajam page while she looked for more friends to add. His name was Jacob. He was named after his father. Yet everyone called him Jabel which was a mixture of his mothers name which was Mabel  and his fathers name Jacob. She saw him and thought (wow he’s cute, but he looks like a fool), but she sent him a message anyway.

She wrote “Hey”

He replied “Hi”, and that’s how it all began. From that day on they  would talk everyday for hours and hours to come.

Eventually, they began a relationship and decided to meet in person, turns out they went to the same school. So that day the decided to meet in fifth  period lunch. She skipped her class to go see him. It was love at first sight. They then decided to meet up after school. That’s when there first kiss happened, in the hallway of her friend Abbie’s cousin’s house. She felt sparks, her stomach turned, her cheeks burned fire red. She had never been kissed this way before.It was the best kiss she had ever had. From that day on  they began to hang out more and more.

Months had passed by and it was there anniversary. Caia spent hours getting ready, she wanted to look perfect for him. She bought the perfect dress for the occasion.  A white baby doll dress she’d bought the day before. They had planned to go and hang out with Jabel’s friends. When Caia got there Jabel surprised her with a present it was a perfume.

A few weeks later Jabel decided it was time for Caia to meet his mother Mabel. His mother’s approval meant the world to him. You see Mabel raised him and his too other siblings by herself. She was Jabel’s everything.  Caia was so nervous. It was very intense.

Then one day Caia and Jabel went to a nearby park. Jabel told Caia

“I love you” she replied

“me too” and she leaned  in to kiss him, little did she know her father John was watching them from a near by house. When she noticed it was too late to hide anything. She was caught red handed .

“Caia” her father call out to her. Her heart dropped. It was the longest walk of her life.

“Is that your boyfriend?” he asked.She said

“Yes” nervously. He replied

“We must take him to meet your mother Rachelle.” She was shocked, she did not expect his reaction.

So Caia told her mom about Jabel. Rachelle was not happy but she decided to accept their relationship as long as she  could meet Jabel’s mother. So they set up a day for them to meet. When they met they spoke to one another and both drew their own conclusions about Caia’s and Jabel’s relationship. The said “it was just a summer romance”. Caia and Jabel wanted to prove them wrong.

Months and months had gone by and there relationship grew strong. Even thought they  had a very good relationship there families were always at odds. Caia’s siblings did not really like Jabel , because they felt Caia was too young to be dating. This began creating a wedge between Jabel and Caia.

One day Caia decided to be completely honest with Jabel and tell her about her past life. She explained to him that because of her past she was the way she was today. He misunderstood her words. Jabel got upset. He felt lied to. Caia was shocked with his reaction since she had only hidden this from him because it had nothing to do with him. Jabel looked at her with a very  judging look. She never forgot the words that came out his mouth

“Your a liar, I hate you. We’re done.” It was one of the worst days of her life. A month later Rachelle told Caia that they would be making a trip to the France to visit their family. Caia was so excited, she could run away from all her troubles and this trip could help her forget Jabel.

Caia and her mother Rachelle got to France, they decided to stay at Rachelles’s friends house Miya. Miya was a long time friend of Rachelle and she lived with her three kids Nancy, Paul, and Lucy. Caia and Paul had a great friendship, they knew each other since Caia was born.

Three days after Caia left to France, she decided to give Jabel a call. Jabel and Caia had a great friendship that went far  beyond their romantic relationship, so Jabel felt the need to share with Caia that he had met someone and had started dating her.

Caia was so upset. Paul saw Caia crying and he decided to comfort her. You see Caia and Paul were just friends but they had a very good connection as friends, and their physical chemistry was off the charts. They started dating, and soon after Caia was five weeks pregnant. When she told Paul he was filled with bliss, but Caia was not as happy, turns out she felt that her and Paul had taken it to far and should’ve remained friends.

In July of the next year Caia welcomed a healthy 7.03oz baby boy who she name Ethel. On that very exact moment she had finally found what she had been looking for this whole entire time. She learned that true love is not only between a man a women love comes in many shapes and forms, because for her Ethel was her one true love.

 

The end…

 

 

 

 

 

 

An essential part of my Identity

Who am I? Who and what made me this way?

I’m unique like every other single person in this world. My personality overall is very outgoing and vibrant, but someone asked me one day why I was this way. I replied:

The people that have made me who I am today are my parents because without them I would not be here today. They provided me with all of the tools I needed in life to become the best person I could be. My parents taught me that in life these qualities could get me far. They told me be responsible, trustworthy, loyal, honest, and a loving human being. With their guidance I learned to be the best mom I could be to my son, with their values I learned how to tell the difference from  right and wrong. I forever will be grateful.

Another big aspect that shaped my life was my education. However I will admit I’ve never been big on school, but thanks to school I have broadened my horizons. I have a bigger outlook on life and It’s wonders.

In conclusion my personal experiences have not only given me wisdom, but have given me an ability to make better decision in raising my son, and making life altering decisions that can affect my future as well as my family’s well being.

Who are you? What made you who you are today?

 

 

How to be succesful in life.

In order to be successful in life, you must always work hard. Set your mind to the things you’d like to accomplish. Make up goals for yourself, and visualize them, so much you can even taste them. Never loose sight of what you want to accomplish. Be driven always! Make sure your following your heart and not someone else’s ideals of what they’d like you to do with your life. Always set standards for yourself; raise them a little each day , while still knowing your limits. Never let negativity guide you, and trust me I know It’s difficult, but remember there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Take things day by day, by making setting daily goals and prioritizing them until you’ve made it. Always try your best, and always try again NEVER QUIT. Remember just because you fall does not mean you can’t get up again and keep moving forward. Determination is key. Never take criticism to heart, people will always have an opinion on your life but always remember your happiness is most important. Try to remain positive. I know things go wrong, when I’m down on life I just try to see things in another perspective for example the cup for me is always half full not half empty. Most important don’t forget to have fun on your way to the top!