If I had a chance to revisit the past and talk to myself I’d probably tell myself that there’s nothing to be afraid of and that the future holds more things in it for me than I could ever imagine. Like that, I’d have another child, or become a life coach and writer and my writing would be featured on some of America’s most iconic magazines. I would tell myself to hold on tight to my memories and cherish them forever because I’d never get the time back that lost spent away from my father, and now in the present, he is gone. I’d say to hold on to those who I’d thought would never leave and left. I would hug them a little harder and reminisce. I would enjoy my time with my children and play with them a little longer because they are growing way too fast. I would spend more time with my mom since now I live 18 hours away from her and she’s getting older. I would probably tell myself that I have a lifetime to work on myself because now that I know how far I’ve come I know I can concur many things. I would have avoided the people who wronged me but on a second note, these people have made me who I am so maybe just stay long enough to learn my lesson and not make it twice. I would maybe go on and undo my wrongs and ask for forgiveness from those I have wronged. As well as give thanks to those who have gone out of their way to enrich my life. I would tell myself that there is more to life than the hustle and bustle of the day-to-day life in the city and would have moved down to the quieter south a long time ago, and would have begun living a more fulfilling lifestyle filled with meaning sooner. If I had the chance to talk to my old self I’ll say that you’re stronger than you think because I have proven to myself over the years that I can accomplish everything I set my mind to and that with dedication and drive you and anyone can too. I’ll smile and enjoy myself being younger than I am today, even though today I’m wiser I’d love to see myself in a much more youthful stage in life. I’d love to remember what it was to feel like when my husband and I first fell in love. I’d love to tell myself that loving myself is more important than losing any relationship. Lastly, I’d say like my father once did “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone” because it’s true those moments in my life are just priceless. After all, they’re gone, and unfortunately, today is all we have.
Clisver's Blues 